You're back?
Each week, I try to share some real-life conversations or events that were said to me or to someone close to me. Many times, what is said is thoughtless or inconsiderate, if not downright rude. That's what makes me want to say, HUH? What's up with that? I am of course referring to bad attitudes shown to older people because they are guilty of nothing more than....being older. Generally, retirement from a job or occupation comes a lot earlier than it did for me. I stuck around several years beyond normal retirement age before I pulled the proverbial plug. At the time, I had been very fortunate to have worked in education for a number of years. It was my second career.
Jim, my former English chair, always said teaching was ...your encore performance! It was true. After spending most of my adult life in radio and television, the change in direction was wonderful. Being around high school age students was exciting, rewarding, and uplifting on a daily basis. The only time of the school year I couldn't wait for it to be over was the first week back to school after summer break. It wasn't because I missed my time off and didn't want to go back to work, but rather because I knew I was in for my annual litany of worn out expressions of shock, dismay and surprise I had returned for another school year! Some of the sentiments sent my way included, You're back? Don't you want to be home? I never did figure out the meaning of that one! Or, I can't believe you are here for another go-round! And, one of my favorites worded any number of ways, Your wife let you out to come to this again? All of these comments and many more like them started several years before my retirement.
One particular year, I was walking into the auditorium for our annual message from the superintendent and school board. A teacher from one of the elementary schools in our system was surprised to see me and greeted me with a hug before she said, When are you going to pack it in and give this job to somebody younger ? Lots of ways to interpret something like that, but the real question is how did she mean it? I left her and was heading for a seat in the balcony when one of my co-workers saw me. She was smiling as she said, You just don't know when it's time, do you? I tried to laugh it off and replied, No, but IT IS time for me to sit down. She actually shook her head as she walked to another seat. Hmmm. Did that gesture mean I'm hopeless? Or, ...he just doesn't get it? What does a shake of the head mean? That gesture spoke just as loudly as anything she verbalized, but I don't know what it meant. That's often the case with body language and other gestures.
A few years before stepping down, I had walked into the building an hour or so before our first scheduled meeting of the new school year. Three staff members were standing near my room along with someone I didn't recognize. After preliminary hellos and a couple good to see you comments, one teacher turned to the new person, winked, and said, Steve could have retired many moons ago, but here he is again. Once again, a sentence fraught with meanings, but what about the wink? What did IT mean? How should I have understood such a simple gesture. Was it to signify an alliance between the speaker and the newbie? Was it meant to exclude me from their camaraderie? Was I supposed to envy a closeness between the 40 year old speaker and the 25 year old rookie? A closeness I would never have with the new person solely because he winked? Or, did it tell the recipient he was going to mess with me a little bit? As I unlocked my door and entered my room, I thought about all the seemingly harmless things said to me over the years about my retirement. As I sat down at my desk, I asked myself, HUH? What's up with that?
Each week, I try to share some real-life conversations or events that were said to me or to someone close to me. Many times, what is said is thoughtless or inconsiderate, if not downright rude. That's what makes me want to say, HUH? What's up with that? I am of course referring to bad attitudes shown to older people because they are guilty of nothing more than....being older. Generally, retirement from a job or occupation comes a lot earlier than it did for me. I stuck around several years beyond normal retirement age before I pulled the proverbial plug. At the time, I had been very fortunate to have worked in education for a number of years. It was my second career.
Jim, my former English chair, always said teaching was ...your encore performance! It was true. After spending most of my adult life in radio and television, the change in direction was wonderful. Being around high school age students was exciting, rewarding, and uplifting on a daily basis. The only time of the school year I couldn't wait for it to be over was the first week back to school after summer break. It wasn't because I missed my time off and didn't want to go back to work, but rather because I knew I was in for my annual litany of worn out expressions of shock, dismay and surprise I had returned for another school year! Some of the sentiments sent my way included, You're back? Don't you want to be home? I never did figure out the meaning of that one! Or, I can't believe you are here for another go-round! And, one of my favorites worded any number of ways, Your wife let you out to come to this again? All of these comments and many more like them started several years before my retirement.
One particular year, I was walking into the auditorium for our annual message from the superintendent and school board. A teacher from one of the elementary schools in our system was surprised to see me and greeted me with a hug before she said, When are you going to pack it in and give this job to somebody younger ? Lots of ways to interpret something like that, but the real question is how did she mean it? I left her and was heading for a seat in the balcony when one of my co-workers saw me. She was smiling as she said, You just don't know when it's time, do you? I tried to laugh it off and replied, No, but IT IS time for me to sit down. She actually shook her head as she walked to another seat. Hmmm. Did that gesture mean I'm hopeless? Or, ...he just doesn't get it? What does a shake of the head mean? That gesture spoke just as loudly as anything she verbalized, but I don't know what it meant. That's often the case with body language and other gestures.
A few years before stepping down, I had walked into the building an hour or so before our first scheduled meeting of the new school year. Three staff members were standing near my room along with someone I didn't recognize. After preliminary hellos and a couple good to see you comments, one teacher turned to the new person, winked, and said, Steve could have retired many moons ago, but here he is again. Once again, a sentence fraught with meanings, but what about the wink? What did IT mean? How should I have understood such a simple gesture. Was it to signify an alliance between the speaker and the newbie? Was it meant to exclude me from their camaraderie? Was I supposed to envy a closeness between the 40 year old speaker and the 25 year old rookie? A closeness I would never have with the new person solely because he winked? Or, did it tell the recipient he was going to mess with me a little bit? As I unlocked my door and entered my room, I thought about all the seemingly harmless things said to me over the years about my retirement. As I sat down at my desk, I asked myself, HUH? What's up with that?
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