this shoe can't possibly fit...
The four George Brothers decided to have a pre-Thanksgiving get together on Monday, three days before the actual holiday last month.
All of us going to one house for a big dinner on the day America collectively gives thanks has been difficult to pull off for many years because of each of our family obligations.
So, we were all seated around a table for six at Daddy Jack's on the north side of Indianapolis on a cloudy, but, warm afternoon, and that worked fine.
The last time the siblings broke bread (see August 5, 2022, HUH? What's up with that? blog, nothing from nothing...), our oldest brother, David, wasn't present. On that occasion, we were seated around Ken's dining room table consuming a platter of stuffed cabbage rolls.
During that near historic evening, The Boys, as our dad referred to us, talked about very little of any value and other comparable useless gibberish.
This time however, realism prevailed as the quartet grappled with cold, hard, facts.
The brothers had started the luncheon conversation by talking about their ages and how incredulous it seems that they are the ages claimed. Each one reminisced about some insignificant detail long forgotten by the three listeners, but, remembered in structure by the storyteller.
HUH? What's up with that?
As we moved forward, Ken, the youngest brother, mentioned he had gone to a mall that morning for his daily walk.
So, you went to a mall instead of walking in the neighborhood, I repeated. I've been doing that off and on since I retired...you know, on a rainy or cold day.
Sure, me too. And, the sad thing is that's how you know we're getting old, he said.
Oh, I don't know about that, I exclaimed. You think we're getting old because we walk at a mall during bad weather?
Well, yeah, that and parking and that clock, Ken added. Of course, there are other things too like the bicycle.
I don't think I get what you are talking about, I pleaded. How do you figure going to a mall to walk means we are old?
It's really simple. When you go to a mall, I assume you arrive at about 8 or 8:30, Ken quizzed me?
I saw what was coming, but, it was too late to nip it in the bud. Uh, yeah, about, that, I admitted.
Who else is at a mall at that time in the morning but old people walking, he questioned?.
Hmmm, there are a couple other people, but, well...and the maintenance people are there too. I've gotta think about it. But, parking? What's that got to do with aging, I asked?
Everything, Ken answered.
Probably the same as your shoes, chimed in Carl, plus, Ken's right on the money about that clock and the bicycle.
I don't get it, I complained. We were talking about walking and you brought up parking and now you guys mention shoes, a clock and a bicycle? And, somehow that all means we're getting old?
You can probably throw in that chicken soup, too, David rejoined.
Sure. It's that stuff combined that says we are old, Ken assured me.
There's a lot more too, but, you get the picture, Carl advised me.
I'm not sure we're looking at the same scene here, I suggested. Shoes, a bicycle, parking, walking, a clock and now, soup? If any one had said birth certificate, well, that's proof positive, but these things? I don't get it guys.
Well, think about it, Ken rejoined. We don't need any documents to spell it out for us. Our parking problem really says old guy.
And, don't forget the shoes, Carl reminded me.
The soup has to be right in there too, David suggested. Same with the clock and bicycle.
First things first. Let's think about all these so called signs you guys say mean we're getting older. What parking problem are you talking about, I demanded.
Here. Think about this...when was the last time you backed into a parking space and it was a perfect fit, Ken patiently asked? I don't mean back up, go forward, back up. Just one smooth easy motion. Back up and you are there. When was the last time?
Much to my chagrin, his reasoning hit me. Ohhhh, I see, but, I don't know, I said. You guys think that means we're old?
Of course. That's bad enough, but, when you add in the shoes, it's really just awful, Carl reinforced.
Hold it a minute, I begged him. I see the walking in a mall thing and I might even capitulate on the parking issue. But, what about the shoes? And, what in the world does a bicycle, chicken soup and a clock have to do with aging?
Don't you see how it's all tied together, David tried to reason. And, about that bicycle. Let me ask you...whatever happened to your bike? You rode that thing every day for all these years in nice weather. Somebody told me you sold it or something?
Well, yeah, I did, I admitted. I think it was taking up too much room in the garage. It wasn't because I was a little shaky on the darned thing or anything like that.
Of course you weren't. I'll bet you were rock solid. And, if you happened to have been a little squirrely, we can guess why, Carl reasoned.
That brings us to the shoes. So, why don't you go ahead and tell us what kind of shoes you are wearing, Ken inquired.
You mean my tennis shoes, I offered?
The brand, Carl replied. What brand are they?
New Balance or Rockport, I don't know which one I'm wearing without looking, I conceded.
It doesn't matter which one of those two brands, Carl said airily. Both of them are for old guys.
Walking in malls, New Balance or Rockport shoes, parking, a clock, my bicycle, I ticked off. Jeez, boys. I've never heard of all this stuff. What's this chicken soup thing you keep talking about besides parking and all that other?
That's easy, David parried. What's that in front of you?
By now, it's a bowl of very cold chicken soup, I replied.
Well, there you go. How many guys under 50 order chicken soup in a restaurant, Carl insisted.
Now that's going too far, I blurted. Back in the day, Ruth would open a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup every time I had an upset stomach.
Yes, but, you didn't order it in a restaurant when you were 10 or 20, or even 30, did you, Carl insisted. I don't think so.
Another thing about that chicken soup, David warned. Think about that series of chicken soup books 25 or 30 years ago. Who do you think bought those books?
I would think anybody and everybody, I threw out.
Are you trying to tell me a young guy is going to pick up a book with chicken soup in the title, Carl challenged? Not going to happen. They are definitely books for old people. That's who the publisher targeted and that's why they call them the Chicken Soup series. Chicken soup and old people kind of go together.
And, here's another thing, David tacked on. You live in Kentucky and drove up here for lunch. If Ken hadn't said to meet at this restaurant, where would you have chosen?
Well, I guess I would have picked MCL Cafeteria, I answered. I love their fried chicken.
Uh huh, David challenged. Have you ever seen young people in there that weren't with their grandparents? Blue hairs and old guys. That's who eats at a cafeteria.
Okay, okay, I submitted. I do see a lot of old people when I go, but, at best I'm not sure about any of this and I still don't get how a clock means I'm old.
We're talking about that grandfather clock you have in your front entry at your home, Ken said. Can you imagine anyone under 50 with a grandfather clock? The name of the thing alone would stop that purchase by any younger person.
That clock is a collector's item, I boasted.
Let's put it another way and this should prove all four of us are getting old beyond any doubt, Carl declared. Let's go back to shoes. How many pair of brown, dress or casual, shoes do you own?
I guess none, I confessed. Back in our day, you never wore brown shoes unless you had on a brown suit or brown slacks and I've always kind of adhered to that. Today, all the younger guys wear all shades of brown shoes with anything they wear. Colors don't matter.
Well, there you go. That's a slam dunk. Case closed, Carl intoned. We are definitely old guys.
Coming up: more POS Encore Performances; another job$ somebody's gotta do, and; oddities, observations, & ?'s.
And, finally. On a recent episode of Ted Talk on NPR, Ashton Applewhite, 70, author of This Chair Rocks was talking about ageism. She pointed out how...seniors are just as capable as younger people, but with perhaps less enthusiasm. Older people can still think and come up with ideas, but, maybe not as energetically.
She also said, We tend to blame age for every creak and pain. As an example, if an older person's knee is hurting, he or she is likely to say, It's just my age. She says to hold that thought. The other knee is just as old as the other one, so, why doesn't it hurt, she asks?
HUH? What's up with that?
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