gotta be up to date...

gotta be up to date...

                                                         

  I have used an antiquated word, phrase or saying and realized only after it was met with a blank look or shake of the head that my uttering was from yesteryear.   There has also been a time or two when a wide open gaping stare has come my way because of a perceived verbal faux pas.

  HUH?  What's up with that? 

  Teenagers can make an older person feel as though he or she is part of a vast criminal enterprise.  They will laugh if you ask how a friend is doing and you use the wrong name to identify that person.  

  Be careful when dredging up a shared memory because every minute detail had better be accurately reconstructed.  

  It is the same with words, phrases, and sayings.  If a teen hasn't heard of your choice, the pop culture gods won't even be able to help you.

  Here are some of the gaffes committed during my Encore Performance at the high school level.  I was the general manager of a radio station on campus for 17 years.

  Hanging up the phone--I was in the main studio when ABC Radio called because we were given permission to carry their live coverage of 9-11.  The network wanted to explain the parameters allowed. Eric, a junior, answered the telephone and told me who was waiting to talk to me.  Andrew, a senior, was also in the room.

  Don't hang up the phone, I ordered.  I'll switch it to my office.                                                         

  What's he mean, don't hang up the phone? Andrew said out loud to Eric.  I heard Eric's response as I retreated to my office. Oh, you know Mr. George.  He's got his own way of talking sometimes. 

  Mobile Phone--According to Bestlife.com, the last person to use this term and sound cool was 
Tupac and he has been dead for 22 years.  

  Rules and regulations governing high school radio stations dictated that the person in charge carry a mobile phone.  The school provided me with a folding phone in my first year on the job.

  Has anyone seen my mobile phone? I inquired on a Friday night as I prepared to accompany the play by play team to the stadium.                                                                                                                                 You know, you can call it a cellphone, Mr. George, Josh smiled.                                                              

  It's easier for me to  be blunt, candid or categorical, I responded.                                                              

 Now I really don't know what you are talking about, he countered.                                                           

  From that night forward, I buried mobile phone. 

   Dungarees--There is no doubt I dated myself with this one.  But, the good news is that after the first time, I never used it again with anyone.  Plus, I stopped humming Dungaree Doll (Eddie Fisher, 1955).

  Rolodex--I will never forget asking Emily, a junior, to look in my Rolodex on my desk and get a phone number of our antenna tower repair people.  Several minutes rolled by and I hadn't seen any sign of Emily.  I walked into my office and she was standing in front of my desk staring at it. She asked, Mr. George, what's a Rolodeck?

  Stewardess--Claire came to see me and sat down in a chair next to my desk.  The senior seemed distressed or at least introspective.  She sat silently and I finally stopped what I was doing, turned to her and asked her if something was wrong.                                                                                                     No, not really, Mr. George, she said.  Everybody is making college plans and I don't think I want to go.   Well, there are worse things, I offered.  But, you graduate in two months and you need to have a plan.  Any ideas?                                                                                                                                                        She looked up, met my eyes and said, I think I'd like to be a flight attendant.                                      Claire, I answered,  I think being a stewardess would be great.                                                                 Claire broke out laughing and went into the study area to tell three other students sitting at the table that Mr. George called a flight attendant a stewardess. Apparently, her melancholic state had ended.                                                                         

  Slacks--The first year or so on the job, I didn't trust the guys and girls to dress appropriately when doing play by play of any athletic event.  Rules were made and posted.  For the boys, the rules included, No shorts only slacks.

   James and Cassie were all set to broadcast Friday night's football game.  James walked into my office the day before the game.                                                                                                                             Uh, Mr. George, he started.  Can I ask you a question?  What are slacks?                                                    All I could do was stare at him. When I recovered, I asked him what he was wearing with a belt to hold them up and he said pants.  I said, Same as slacks.            

  Hit the Hay--We had just concluded a fundraiser for Riley Children's Hospital.  It was 11:30 at night and a large group of us were in the radio station collecting book bags, purses, car keys and other personal items.  All of us were tired.                            

I am ready to hit the hay, I yawned.                                                                                                              What are you going to do? asked a voice from the crowd.                                                                            Hit the hay, go to bed, I responded.  Haven't you ever heard that?                                                              A girl's voice from the back of the room said, Mr. George, you say the funniest things.  

  World Wide Web--I was showing one of my first group of students the mandatory government (FCC) rules and regulations that govern all broadcast facilities.  The FCC had just gone online with the rules and had done away with the old handbook.

  Susan, you put the FCC in the search box correctly, but, you forgot to put www.                                        Somebody told me you don't have to do that anymore, she responded.                                                        You don't?  Are you sure about that?  Here, let me look that up, I said.                                                        All the while I was searching, I was reminded of how many times my students taught me more than I ever taught them.      

  Turn it down a notch--Televisions in the 50s and 60s had volume control knobs on the TV that had notches.  

  One day there were a number of students in the radio station watching school announcements.  I was  in my office on the telephone and I yelled to the group to, Turn it down a notch, please.  

  Minutes went by without any decrease in volume.  I ended my call and walked into the study area where all were gathered.  Two boys were huddled over the remote control and were looking intently at the various functions.  I sensed a trap.

  What are you guys doing? I asked.                                                                                                                Sure enough, they had set me up and were waiting in ambush for me.  

   We're looking for that control that says, notch, Sam quipped before they all smiled.  

 Coming up:  another POS and their memories; an observations, oddities, and ?'s;  a conversation with a Korean War Veteran, and; a job$ somebody's gotta do.     

  And, finally.  It's not my age that bothers me---it's the side effects.

  HUH?  What's up with that?