firsts...

 firsts...

                  

  The four George Brothers recently met at a popular cafeteria in the suburb of Castleton in Indianapolis.  I say popular, but, 95% of the patrons were either bald or had blue or gray hair.  Patronized by a certain age group for sure.  The brothers were a perfect fit.

  Carl, Ken and Steve, were seated at a table for four in one of the two dining rooms.  The senior brother was still making his way through the line.  

   Looks like you have your hands full, Ken said to a young mother holding a baby at the next table. 

  I do indeed, she concurred.  This is our first time for taking the baby out.  My husband is looking for a baby seat.  

  Well, enjoy those first time moments, Carl said as he smiled, then turned to us.   Jeez, guys, first time.  Takes you back some years, doesn't it?

  Before either of us could reply, Dave, carrying a glass of water, made his way to our table.

  Where is your tray, Carl asked?

  Tray?  For what?  Dave countered.  I just have a glass of water.

  But, where is your food?  I wanted to know.

  Did you guys not see those prices?  This place is outrageous, Dave exclaimed.  I'm not spending that kind of money for lunch.  Who picked this place anyway?

  It's no different than a sit down restaurant, Ken guessed.  You would pay about the same.   

  Dave, you love fried chicken.  Go get a plate lunch, Carl suggested.

  Naw, this water will hold me until dinner, Dave said.

  Your call, I chipped in.

  Carl?  You are right, Ken interrupted.  The first time for anything is really special.  The problem is we don't realize it at the time we are living it.

  Who or what brought that up? Dave wanted to know.  

  The couple next to us, Carl explained.  They are celebrating a first time event. 

   Dave wasn't listening.  That chicken you are eating sure looks good, Steve, Dave said hungrily.

  You ought to take that padlock off your wallet and go get a plate, Ken suggested.

  Not now, I can wait, Dave declared.

  All this first time talk makes me think of the first time I drove a car, Ken said.

  How did you do?  Dave wanted to know.

  Not bad for a first time, Ken thought.  Of course, that white line down the middle of the road didn't mean a whole lot to me at first and my weaving a little made dad slightly nervous.

  So, dad was with you?  Carl inquired.

  That can only mean one thing, Dave interjected.  You were somewhere around 13 or 14.

  You would be correct, I was 14, Ken said proudly.  

  How is that roast beef, Ken?  Dave asked longingly.

  Well, it probably looks better than it tastes, but, it's okay, Ken critiqued.  You want a bite?

  No, no, I'm good. Thanks, Dave replied.

  Yeah, we were driving down this road and dad pulls over and says, Get behind the wheel.  You are driving, Ken continued his story.  I couldn't believe it, but, I did okay. 

  Do you guys know the first time I drove on a highway?  Carl asked all of us,

  I sure don't remember that, I shook my head.  

  Remember that trip we took out west?  Carl wanted to know.  Steve, you and Dave stayed home.  It was 1962 and I drove most of the way to the Seattle World's Fair and then down to Los Angeles and back home.    

  Let me guess, Dave ventured.  You were 14 or 15.

  I was 15, Carl claimed.  

  Man, you driving on a highway for the first time!  Ken exclaimed.  That sounds scary now.    

   I was plenty scared, Carl admitted.  

  I don't mean you, I meant for other drivers, Ken corrected.

  Hah hah.  All the way out Route 66 through the Badlands and mountains and everything else, Carl recalled.

  That's a huge piece of meatloaf, Carl, Dave judged.  

  I'd offer you a piece of it, but, I know you aren't hungry, Carl teased. 

  Dinner won't be long now, I can wait, Dave said.  It's only about six hours away. 

  I was just thinking about my first car date, I quipped.  Remember when mom drove us on our first dates?  They were called car dates back then.  The girl's name was Emily and when I took her home, she leaned over and kissed my cheek before she got out of the car.  

  Did Ruth see that? Carl wondered.

  She sure did, I smiled.  And, she told me not to ask Emily out again because she was too fast for me.

  We all laughed

  What about you, Dave?  Ken wanted to know.  What's a first for you?  

  I was just thinking about the first basketball team I was a part of, Dave reminisced.  It was at John Strange Elementary and it was exciting. 

  Yeah, that's right, I recalled.  You played guard, didn't you?

  Just then, Carl saw the new mom and dad at the next table get up to leave

  That was a quick first time, he directed at the couple. 

  Yes, I didn't even touch my lunch yet, and, I can't take it with me, she answered.

  You can't?  What are you going to do with it?  Dave asked expectantly.  

  No, Emma spit up all over my lunch, she explained.  I have to throw it away. That's the first time she's done that.  

  Emma?  Dave hadn't seen the infant.

  The baby, she said.

  Oh. Dave said disappointed.  Well, there's a first time for everything.  

  Coming up:  an interview with a horse race owner; another POS (People Over Sixty); a job$ somebody's gotta do, and; another oddities, observations, & ?'s.

  And, finally.  Being patient while someone tells me a long story is not part of my skill set.  Same with drawn out, seemingly unending jokes.  That is why one-liners or short pieces of humor have always struck my fancy.  The brevity is part of what makes one-liners so funny.  

  I was looking for a good news type of story to use in this post when I came across these gems.

  My mom died when we couldn't remember her blood type.  As she died, she kept telling us to be positive, but, it's hard without her.    

  I have many jokes about unemployed people---sadly, none of them work.

  My wife is mad that I ruined our anniversary.  I'm not sure how, I didn't even know it was today.

  HUH?  What's up with that?