the instigator...
We have all heard stories of someone who meddles in the love affairs of others. Or, of an individual who is making very little effort to climb the corporate ladder, but, sabotages those who are working hard to reach the pinnacle. The people in both instances are what I call, instigators.
HUH? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
An instigator could also be someone who asks questions of a person. Someone who initiates a conversation or gets the conversation going. A person who likes to ask questions as well as hear the answers. And, that is me when I have donned my interview hat as I have done for several decades plus my blogging years.
I have been very fortunate and have more hits to my credit than misses. Why do I remember the misses as well as the successes? The answer is each one came down to the instigation of the interview.
Preparation is the key to all successful one on ones, so, it was not a surprise when my worst memory happened because of my lack of prep even though the entire blame could not be laid at my feet...well, some of it, but, not all of it.
Here is what happened as near as I remember the incident
Rushing into the studio one day in the early 1980s, I was just in time to take over following the latest news briefing. I had been on the TV side doing a voice-over and couldn't hit the right inflection on a couple key words in the script, so, it took me longer to do the job.
The station program director (PD) was behind me and told me of an interview that was 30 minutes away. My guest was one of the top musical pop queens of the 60s and I felt a heavy darkness descending from above me. What did I know about this woman? Nothing. Usually, a fact sheet was provided. Not so this time.
This was pre-computer days so I was on my own. No research, no prep. My PD tried to help me by calling some friends in the music business, but, no one got back to him in time. All I had for research purposes were two or three old books of artists biographies that were so old they made Beethoven sound contemporary.
I put a Barry Manilow tune on the turntable and walked out into the office and asked everyone if they had read any useless gibberish about this woman in any fan mags. No luck.
As I rounded the corner to return to the studio, my guest was also headed for the same room lead by a station employee and surrounded by six or seven beautiful young men and women. They were 15 minutes early. Not a good sign for me because she probably wanted this exercise to be over and done with ASAP. I just didn't know how quickly it would end.
One of the star's entourage handed her a tissue. Hmm, I thought. Does that mean something? Was handing her a Kleenex or Puffs, no, not a Puffs, probably a Kleenex, significant?
I realized then I was overly hyped and I needed to calm down. She was just like anyone else.
As I sat down, the song was ending. I gave a back credit, took care of some station business, and, introduced my guest.
I then turned to her and started my instigation. The first question or two will determine the greatness of any interview. How do you like our town so far? I threw out while I gathered my wits.
Wait a minute, she replied. I'm not a tour guide for this place. I thought I was here to talk about my new album.
She turned to a member of her group and said, Get me out of here.
With that abrupt remark she got up and was led to the exit.
I put on a George Michael song, stood up and called after her. She didn't so much as turn around and acknowledge me. It was all I could do not to yell something stupid like, Your best days are behind you. Thankfully, my better judgement prevailed.
It was not an accident that I never played another of her songs after that disaster. When one would come up in rotation, I managed to skim right over it.
Interviewing people for my blog tends to be somewhat different than talking to the famous. Some folks are easy to prepare for while others are more difficult. The latter tend to want to hold back information as if revealing they like to go to Vegas will paint them as rogue gamblers.
Interviewers know there are guaranteed to be successful instigations. For example: if I walk into a doctor's office and want to start a conversation with an interesting looking woman, this is a tried and true, almost 99% safe, instigation, It seems like the older I get, the more doctors I see.
You can almost bet the farm her answer will be one of two statements, I know what you mean, or, You can say that again.
Still, not all tried and true instigations are fool proof. Sometimes a guaranteed instigation will fail and it is out of the hands of the interviewer. Take for example this recent encounter at my ophthalmologist's office.
The waiting room was crowded, so, I hurried to register my presence and headed for one of the three or four remaining seats.
A short time later, a man about 6'4" walked in and signed up. He was an older man, thin, and, nice looking.
I noticed more than one 40 year old woman casting a furtive glance his way. Two things stood out about this gentleman: first, he walked with an air of confidence all 6'4" people possess, and, secondly, he had a full head of white hair that was perfectly coiffed.
I was envious.
There were a couple seats across the room which were empty, but, he chose one of two chairs close to me. It was time to go to one of my tried and true instigations.
Removing my cap to show him the reason for my question, I said, How did you manage to keep all that hair?
He turned to me and smiled as he answered, Well, my dad and three brothers all had the same hair. Mom had something to do with it too because her hair was pure white.
It is always a pleasure when a tried and true instigation works. I was even thinking of finding out more about this guy and possibly doing a blog on him. Those thoughts collapsed when he said, I just turned 78, how old are you?
I am 82, I responded.
Whoa! You're really getting up there aren't you, he said as a statement of fact and loud enough for half the room to hear.
Fortunately for me, my name was called and I didn't have to respond to the guy.
Coming up: the George Brothers ride again; another oddities, observations & ?'s; a what's the story, and; a man called Joe.
And, finally. I find this quote from Theodore Roosevelt to be timely and uplifting. He said:
"Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official save exactly to the degree in which THEY stand by the country."
Have a great 4th!
HUH? What's up with that?
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