a man called joe...
Me and my three brothers, Dave, Carl, and, Ken, grew up in Indianapolis with a man named Joe. He didn't want to be called Joseph or Josef, just J-O-E. Joe. I don't think he had a middle name, but, I never asked. That seems remiss on my part.
Joe was a true character (TC) and that is what makes him so unique and special for those who knew him. There aren't many TCs in this world. I describe a TC as someone who still resonates with those he or she left behind. Someone whose words, phrases, and actions are long remembered and still discussed. Someone who could light up a room or make the room go dark by his or her presence.
Joe was a complex man: he was a high school All-American Football Player, but, he walked out of his free ride to the University of Illinois after just 24 hours; he faced and conquered two different life-threatening situations in the form of armed robberies while owning his own businesses, but, he was afraid of spiders; he could mentally juggle numbers at will, but, science or history didn't seem to interest him; he was intuitive, as when he called out a priest who was dipping in the Sunday till, yet naive when he claimed a friend wouldn't know a ballplayer if he had one on each knee. The friend in question was a scout for the New York Yankees in the 1950s.
HUH? What's up with that?
When I told my siblings I wanted to write about Joe, I asked them to send memories, good and bad. Dave is the oldest of the four of us.
He didn't just quit college, Dave reminded us. He hopped freight trains and traveled around the country for two or three years in the 1920s until he fell between two cars and broke a vertebrae or two. He left the hospital after 24 hours and paid the price for that impetuous move the rest of his life. Joe was not a patient man.
Joe and Ruth drove to California on their honeymoon. As they traveled through Wyoming, the two of them stopped at Yellowstone National Park in hopes of seeing Ol' Faithful erupt. They were told it would be 10 to 15 minutes before this natural wonder would occur. Apparently that was too long for Joe to wait, so, they left without seeing the most famous geyser in the world in action.
Remember those summer trips to Marietta, Ohio? Dave asked. I think he loved those kinds of things more than anything. Reconnecting with his buddies and reliving those war stories of their youth.
I agreed. Joe was generally a pretty serious man, but, he seemed more buoyant and light-hearted walking along the banks of the Ohio River in downtown Marietta.
The names of his hometown friends were one of a kind, Carl said. Plunker, One Can, Camel, Peenie. Where did those names come from? We didn't ask Joe did we.
I remember Camel, Ken reminisced. He owned a liquor store and I thought it was cool that I was standing in a liquor store.
The neatest thing about that liquor store was the walk-in cooler in the middle of the store that was shaped like a huge beer bottle, Carl recalled. I always wanted to open that door and walk in.
It was pretty cool that Joe took us to eat at least once to the Lafayette Hotel during every trip to Marietta, Ken added. That was pretty fancy for those days.
Joe's benevolence was well known within the family. Many people give to others and we often hear about the gift. Joe's kind heartedness was all behind the scenes. He didn't seek or ask for recognition.
The day before my wedding, my car broke down, Carl recalled.
That's when Joe and I went downtown to a Buick dealership and bought a new car for you to whisk your bride away. I concluded the story. As we drove along Fall Creek Parkway towards south Meridian, I asked Joe if we were going to buy a new or used car. He said, We'll buy a new one. We can't trust a used car.
When Joe's sister's husband passed away in Lowell, Massachusetts at an early age, we added a second vacation to our summers for many years.
Aunt Faye worked in a shirt factory and didn't make a lot of money. We visited her and assorted relatives for a few days before leaving for home at sunup on a given morning. Joe never failed to leave cash in her dresser drawer unbeknownst to her. He didn't want her to find it until after we were long gone. I was very young, but, I remember thinking how neat that was for him to do.
Do you guys remember Sparky, the electrician, who always changed the florescent lights all around the A & W Root Beer joint downtown, Ken wondered.
He was there every spring before we opened. He was kind of a down and out guy. Joe always found him, but, I don't know how because the guy didn't have a phone. He'd show up with holes in his shoes and pants and a worn out T-shirt. Joe always paid him well and paid him in cash for that 30 minutes of work.
That story brought to mind the time I was visiting Indy and dropped in to Joe's restaurant on Ohio and Meridian Streets in the mid 70s.
Joe asked me to walk over to the phone company and pay the monthly bill. Before I left on my errand, he said he would go with me. As we walked out of the restaurant, a homeless type man walked up to us and asked for a quarter. Joe asked him why he wasn't working and the guy said he was a drunk and couldn't hold a job. Joe gave him a $5 bill. When I asked him why he gave him so much, Joe replied, He's on a tough road.
You know how that generation had all kinds of philosophical sayings? Dave asked. Joe's were many and all of them were priceless. One of a kind type of stuff. Dave went on to remind the three of us about the cousin we had whose speech was very slow. He imitated Joe when he said, Boys, by the time she could tell a guy she wasn't that type of girl, she would be.
Carl said, One of my favorites was, that guy looks like the back end of a trolley car, or, her legs look like telephone poles. He could be pretty judgmental. I think all four of us have some of that in us.
How about when we would be walking along and pass an unsavory looking guy and Joe would say right out of the blue, Jeez, he looks like he could steal the onions out of your sandwich? Ken asked.
One of my favorites is when I asked him why he never flew in an airplane and his response was, Boy, when it is your time, it is your time. I just don't want to be in a plane when it is the pilot's time.
The stories are endless and so was his love of family, Dave continued.
Joe wasn't shown a lot of love as a youth. Possibly one cause of the friction between he and his parents was his love of sports. As first generation Middle East immigrants, they didn't appreciate Joe's skillset, so, he was often shunned or slighted and treated differently then his siblings. Rose and John thought their son, Joe, was wasting his and their time. Because of sports, he didn't help them out as much as he could have.
I have often thought he drove himself so hard at work because he wanted to prove to his mother he could be a success, Carl thought.
It is pure speculation, but, I have long believed that Joe transferred his lack of parental love onto his own children. He was exceptional. Seldom did he leave the house without one or two of us tagging along by his invitation.
Things we will never know, Dave lamented.
His gifts were over the top too. I received an electric train set that consumed half the basement on my 13th birthday (are electric trains still made?).
I was driving around Monument Circle the other day and I thought about that dress shop he used to buy Ruth's gifts from on the Circle, Ken remembered. Every birthday, Christmas and Mother's Day, she would get three expensive outfits.
And the next day, she returned them and bought what she wanted from Block's or Ayers, Carl injected.
We all laughed at the memories.
He could probably hold a grudge longer than anyone I knew, Dave offered. I think he stayed away from church for 20 years after they rejected his theory about the bent priest. Turned out, he was right.
Joe could be very expressive too He either loved you or he didn't. There wasn't any in-between and he didn't have any problem letting you know where you stood with him. There were many a time when we witnessed Joe's verbal outrage directed at a driver who had the audacity to cut in front of him. The expletives were many and descriptive.
And, loud, Carl added. Joe could be intimidating, no doubt. He was about six feet tall and had that really deep voice going for him. When he spoke, I listened. There were times with others he was overly critical or cynical and he should have backed off.
But, the bottom line for us is I think he always wanted the best for each of his sons and worked to insure we had a good chance to succeed. What more could you ask? Dave mused.
One of his favorite expressions pretty well sums it up, Carl concluded. If you are going to go, go first class.
Above all else, Joe did it his way, Ken voiced.
We all agreed.
Coming up: a what's the story; and, another oddities, observations & ?'s.
And finally. Will Rogers Jr. said about his father: His heritage to his children wasn't words or possessions, but an unspoken treasure, the treasure of his example as a man and a father.
HUH? What's up with that?
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